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Bollocks of Bullying – Part Two

January 31, 2017

Kids are assholes, teenagers in particular, are assholes. They get to be little wankers and have to learn to deal with being offended because that is part of learning to be adults. When the school system and parents go out of their way to punish some and molly-coddle others for what is a normal part of life they fail. The institutionalized creation of crybabies and punishment of the ones who are potential leaders and role models is despicable. Every successful adult I know deals with idiots and assholes every single day. I am at a total loss to understand when the right to ‘safe spaces’ and an existence free from offence and hurt feelings took precedence over the “suck it up, Buttercup” attitudes that built the productive, self-reliant adults that I see from my own generation.

Today’s policies are part of an agenda to break down the barriers between speech and actions. Children are being taught that words and disagreeable opinions are the same as physical violence. A hashtag isn’t the same as a ninja throwing star but you will never convince some people of that… as usual, something set me off, and here are the latest offenders to my not-so-delicate sensibilities:

It started here with this post by a teacher:

Well I am really proud of my son for wanting to work out because he actually likes to do that and he eats healthy because he wants to gain muscle only to go to school to get made fun of for “bulking up” or his classmates feel it’s necessary to tweet about what he eats! I’m so sick of him always being a target! The one thing I can say is that he has better character than any of them!

Her son is a bright kid and well liked. He is also one of those people who can’t manage to talk about anything but his lifestyle choices. (You know the type: Vegans, Vape fiends, and rabid Feminists.) As a result, he took some mild teasing from his classmates while he was on a particularly obnoxious rant about how he was better than everyone else and they should be just like him. Snowflake much??? The other students made up a fake Twitter account in his name with his complete participation. The whole incident lasted about ten minutes and he even took part in the process. Not even once did he say “You guys are being dicks”, “Stop it” or “That’s enough”… he didn’t even tell his mommy, who, once again, is a teacher  at the school he attends, but that wasn’t good enough for mommy dearest.

As far as the child having better character than any of them…. he is the one who played along with the whole joke and kept you out of the loop, so, um, yeah, he is of superior character,  at least compared to your parenting ability.  He isn’t the one who is threatening other kids’ futures by being a tattletale crybaby seeking validation on social media.

She continued her social media rampage:

I would like to set the record straight. My son did not tell me about the kids who set up the fake twitter account in order to make fun of him. He didn’t even tell me he had a girlfriend a staff member did. He doesn’t tell me squat! Quite a few other students who felt it was wrong told me. He did tell the kids he didn’t care. My point is it is wrong to single out a kid and make fun of them. And as an educator it is our job to put a stop to it no matter who it is. I will also tell you that some of these kids also like to get under my kid’s skin because according to the students who told me (again not my son) they think it’s funny to provoke him to see if he would blow. Also in the past he’s been threatened, made fun of, threatened to slash tires, to ruin his truck, done things to his truck to make him mad, and provoked him
into a fight! And guess what I heard all of that from other students or administrators never once did my son tell me any of it. And you know why he doesn’t tell? Because he doesn’t want to upset his mom or get anyone in trouble. That is the kind of kid he is. And he doesn’t want a pity party and neither do I. What I want is for these students to just treat other people the way people should be treated! And I am tired of this crap that continuously year after year (since 3rd grade) keeps happening. And I guarantee you that if this was happening to any other child their moms would feel the same as I! Until you have walked in my shoes with the years of crap then don’t judge!

Lord, where to start with this insanity??? The rest of this post will be written as though I actually have the stones to tell this twat what I think of her directly:

The crap you are dealing with is the result of having a self-important little shit that you raised your overly protective attitude and inability to trust your own child’s conduct cloud your judgement. Despite your attention-whoring on facebook, your son chooses to cut you out of the loop because the incident, the incident that he helped create, wasn’t all that significant.  You don’t know who he is dating because you would vilify the girl and her family on social media or through your authority at school and he is protecting her. Like all other kids who have a strong sense of self, he knows where his boundaries are and he knows your boundaries, too.  He didn’t want some harmless BS to take over his life and the lives of his peers because you would go batshitcrazy over him taking part in an incident that didn’t cause any actual harm. He didn’t tell you because he knew that your actions would cause irreparable harm to his friends. (Thanks to your propensity to utilize school policies to “protect” your views of his interests.)

If this was happening to any other child….  

Bullshit. I have news for you, it does, indeed, happen to other children. It happens to other parents. It is both a part of growing up and a part of being the parent to teenagers. The hardest lessons I have learned as a parent to young adults have been at the hands of teachers and administrators. It was the same way back in the age of dinosaurs when I attended school as it is now. You are the problem here. Where were you when you “as an educator” when my #1 wore skinny jeans to school and was humiliated in class for violating the Dress Code and sent to the Principal’s office? Oh, wait… you did that, even though other students were wearing the exact same thing. (Right down to the brand and style… but you didn’t like the way she looked in them.)

Where were you the day when #2 was relentlessly mocked and teased for “not having a father”? You didn’t take any action, and neither did the guidance counselor, and neither did the principal – because, in that case, I overruled my kids and went to the administration. In case you missed it, he is in prison for trying to have us all killed, but, hey, that was just ‘kids being kids’. Nothing about that is at all as offensive as your son making a self-deprecating #gainsandgainsandgains tweets at lunch with his peers when that is all he talks about is his personal trainer and lectures his others about the virtues of his diet and exercise program.

Were you there at sport practice later that same week when the hateful little twats kept up their relentless targeting of #2 until she retaliated by saying, “at least I am not fat” and was immediately kicked off the team without my even being notified in advance because fat-shaming isn’t acceptable? Nope. How about the whole weekend where #1 was excluded from the traditional cheerleader lunch at a state tournament and made to eat by herself in her cheer uniform because the school suburban “didn’t have room for her” (a 9 passenger vehicle that only transported 5 students) and she couldn’t eat with the volleyball team because she wasn’t suited up in her sports uniform? Did you even notice that she was excluded from the school news article that added insult to injury by not picturing her with the rest of the squad? Nah. You weren’t there either.

Let’s review the other incidents that you also don’t know about since I don’t plaster them all over social media because I am not a whiny crybaby who is trying desperately to keep my kids like infantilized little twits and desperately crying out for attention on social media:

When I went to the principal to have a talk about a teacher who was spewing incontrovertably incorrect “facts” to her class… crickets. When the same teacher, a whole year later let one of your pet students (your current bestie student and informer) berate, insult, and physically threaten #1 in class…. not a word. By the way, how did you not notice that one of your colleagues was a pill-popping drunk for TWO WHOLE YEARS??? Guess the little pricks you listen to didn’t mention it to you, ‘as an educator’ or were you just too busy to take action?

No one stood up for me the day that one of our high school principals (and we have had many of them the past few years) literally threatened me in an official meeting, that he would “inform the child’s father of her IEP if I didn’t immediately produce documents proving that I have sole custody. Yeah, (snowflake warning) The Principal told me he would send the documents for the Individual Education Plan To the Prison where their father is being held on Attempted Capitol Murder Charges even though my daughters and I are in a State-sponsored Protection Program for Victims of Violent Crime.  He was especially dismissive when I came in with the documents. He rolled his eyes and said, “oh, a divorce decree… I have one of those…” In front of YOU, and several other staff members, I replied, “yours doesn’t say ‘attempted murder'” …. you probably don’t remember the day, but I do. I always remember the days I walk into the school totally humiliated and terrified, with tears running down my face because my life, and the lives of my children have been literally threatened but a school administrator. Again, it isn’t just that my feelings were hurt, my life was threatened in a way just short of an actual gun being held to my head. But, then again, #gainsandgainsandgains on a Twitter account your son helped create is a far bigger issue – your poor son.

After the incident where #2 dared to call a fat girl fat, her family members, not once, but twice, chased her down and threatened physically her. One time she was caring for another child, the second time they actually exited their vehicle and approached her. I made police reports both times. The school did nothing – but the police took it seriously. Think of it…. two times, adults threatened my child with physical violence. But hey they are your friends, so that was OK with you – maybe you even laughed about how my kid was ‘put in her place’. It was so bad that the third time it happened (over the summer) I sent her to live with relatives in another state because I could no longer guarantee her physical safety. Unlike your beloved child who actually played along with a harmless teenage joke, my child had to be removed from the district to avoid being assaulted.

I have had my truck keyed, #1 has had her car taken without her permission, and I was publicly accosted in a business in town because #3 bullied another student. (She is a bit young for the real mean stuff to start.) Her offense was to ‘look mean” at another child. That’s it. She made a “mean look” at another child and I was threatened with repercussions by the school because someone the parent felt that was considered “bullying”.

Now, here you are, with over 75 facebook comments telling you to “go after” the kids who hurt your son’s feelings, based on the hearsay of other students. You have been told to take it to the administration and hire attorneys. Well, my #1 was there, and your butt hurt over your own child’s experience has the potential to wreck the lives and prevent the scholarships and further education  of five other students. Silly me for not understanding that hurt feelings are exactly the same as YOUR personal abuse of the system if it benefits, YOU. (Even when your own son begs you to SHUT UP.)

This mess is the result of a dire lack of understanding when it comes to allowing children to become adults, overly protective parenting practices and an egregious abuse of your “power” as ‘an educator’ fully encouraged by the public school system. Your standards of bullying are over-reaching and selectively applied. Your ill-guided notion of “bullying” and how to deal with it are utterly lacking in common sense and I hope your son continues to exercise the good judgement of knowing when enough-is-enough because you clearly don’t have the ability to do so.

 

 

 

 

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