Skip to content

Gunpowder and Gelatine

October 26, 2013

Yes, I know, I deserve to be scolded for not keeping you in the loop… Please forgive me for not sharing lately, it’s been a wild ride and deathly boring at the same time.

To backtrack for just a bit, I have to fill you in on the final dregs of the saga with B which mean that I also get to introduce you to Tigger and maybe someone new, too. I wouldn’t dignify the ends of the B disaster with the effort of writing about it, but everything is all tangled together and I can’t write about one thing without writing about the other.  Obviously, the ordeal with B caused some major changes in my thinking.  As a result of all that, I have been systematically removing all traces of former relationships from my life.   Some furniture, a few bits and baubles and even a vehicle, all bought and paid for by ex whatevs, yeah, they are material things, but I can’t stand to look at them anymore.  Despite being just “stuff” it represents much more than that to me.  Some of it hurt to let go and I didn’t even realize it until I watched it leave. Listen here and meet the new and old stuff, including the reason that I haven’t been blogging.

By far, the biggest, longest-lasting and most beloved object in my life was my show truck.  In case any of you are into vintage vehicles, it was a Dodge Little Red Express pick up.  I owned it for nearly 20 years, a whole lifetime or three ago, and it hurt when I watched it get loaded onto the tow rig.  I literally sat in the garage in the puddle of oil and cried.  Tigger was there to hand me beer and pat me on the head while the tail lights faded into the distance. “You have to get rid of the old shit make room for something new.”  Fuck you Tigger…



And, thanks, for bringing home my new ride….

A few weeks before I sold the red truck, I found that sweet truck on craigslist.  I was almost sad when I saw the condition it was in.  So perfect – just been a little beat up and a little neglected…  Just needs a little lovin’ to be whole again… MY truck indeed.   Every thing is basically there to restore it, but I have learned  the hard way that there is no going back, and even if it was meticulously restored, this will never be the same ride it once was long ago.  I don’t know why vehicles are always referred to in the feminine, but who am I to go against it?  She’s a good one, no doubt about it, but her heart has been ripped out and there are a few scars here and there, but she still looks good for her age.  We’ll get to that.  I needed help bringing her home so I called Tigger.


Tigger was the one who played secret agent man and house with me when I was forced to move up here to this God-forsaken cultural wasteland known as my hometown after my ex was arrested.  I know I can’t shop for my future by walking down the aisles of my past, but not everything in my past deserves to be sent to the scrapyard.   Tigger is well aware that he can’t be the man in my life again, but he is a good, solid reliable guy and he has some righteous skills and a fully equipped shop in addition to being able to tell me the truth in a way that really hits home.  Now, I have to back track…


Here I am at work being photographed by a professional photographer just a few minutes before B showed up and my work family hid me away….

A few days after B showed up at my job – during a gigantic celebration/customer appreciation party no less – Tigger and I were watching videos about setting up suspensions on lowered vehicles and he put his hand over mine (on the mouse, about to click again) and told me, ‘It’s time to go out”.  I protested this idea, of course, because my living room is a safe place for me.  I didn’t want to go ‘out’ and Tigger is a lot of things, but one thing he isn’t is a guy I can defy so I got dressed up and off we went.  One thing led to another and Tigger’s ride ended up being parked at my house, sans Tigger, of course.  The next morning, I was in a ridiculous rush to get the food finished for an event at the local museum.  Making fifty pounds of pulled pork for a tractor run while hungover is no joking matter,

hold my beerThe tractor run folks were fun!!!

I had delivered the meat and was busy minding my own business taking pics and when I got ready to leave, I realized that my truck (daily driver, not the new project truck) had been keyed.  It’s not some little scratch either.  The metal is scored.  For real, my daily driver is a quarter-million-mile pile of crap.  The proper repair of the paint would total it out according to the insurance company.  Fuck me and my $1K deductible.  Someone was watching me, my house, whatever and thought that I had an overnight visitor…  I have a very limited social circle, so who do you guess might have keyed my ride or been angry of childish enough to do that???  Two weeks later, B posted pics of him and his new girlfriend on fb hours after his mom received last rites.  Then four days later, she rode with him in the family car between the services and the cemetery.  Notwithstanding the inappropriateness of that mess, all I know about her is she is a single mom, about my age, and she has money plus she has been through a terrible trauma in her life.  It’s a pattern, folks.  B is a predator.  I feel sorry for her, I am scared for her and there isn’t one single thing I can do to stop it.  So that is why I went into overdrive erasing every trace of my past, especially anything that had to do with B.

Just when I though all was lost and I was thrown into coordinating the Vetrans’ Day parade, helping with the marketing for a big car run in May next year and busy with my new truck project, I was convinced to put up a profile on an online dating site. W.T.F.  Oh well, just because I am on a diet doesn’t mean I can’t look at the menu.  Which brings me to a closing point, because I have a LOT to say about that hot-freaking-mess…

Stay tuned, it’s gonna get really interesting.  Just to tease you… it sucks and it might possibly work too!


From → Uncategorized

One Comment
  1. Peregrine John permalink

    Well, dang. Crazed as that might be, it’s better than some of the scenarios I’d pondered about why you’d wandered off! Good to see you again.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: