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We’re All BatShitCrazy

May 10, 2013

According to TPTB, “The Powers That Be”, we’re all freaking crazy.  I apparently suffer, along with many of my Red Pill sistas, from Oppositional Defiant Disorder.  A great many of us are probably Orthorexic, too.  My God we are a screwed up bunch!

I was delightfully surprised that on the last post I wasn’t inundated with comments from angry cows, because, you know.  Fat Acceptance and Fat Shaming can be a pretty incendiary topic, mainly because fat people are angry. All. The. Fucking. Time.  We just had out last trackmeet of the year, and brought home 2 silvers, a gold and a bronze.  Should have been a great day, but…

cow trackmeet

This Cow.

She was constantly yelling at her equally chunky daughter.  Not, “way to go” not “woo-hoo”… all about the child doing it wrong. A constant barrage of angry, shaming comments spewed forth from this “proud mom” who couldn’t lift her fat ass out of that chair without assistance from her clearly blue-collar husband (or baby-daddy judging by the lack of a ring on her finger). She sat about 12 feet from the high-jump pit, then 16-or-so feet from the track.  Her grease covered husband kindly put his hand on her shoulder whenever she used profanity… thank god, she slowed up on the f-bombs.

My question, is why was she so-fucking-angry?  She had a 55-gallon drum of soda or vodka or whatever and ate not one, not two, but FOUR cheese pretzels during the 3 hour meet.  All dutifully fetched by her man.  Why did he tolerate that behavior? Why did he feed the silly cow constantly with grains and ghetto cheddar?  Was he avoiding her wrath if she didn’t have food to stuff in her big face?  Most importantly of all, why was she so unhappy? Could it be related to this:

“Yup. I was at my most miserable in life when I was trying to convince myself that being 210lbs was ok, and I’m a beautiful and unique snowflake, and all that.”

Redpillwifey said that and it speaks volumes.  Miserable people are rarely pleasant to be around. Funny thing is that they are not labeled with some disorder? Fat is a disease…. Call the freaking Whambulance, please.  I am fat, and it’s not my fault…. I get to be mean to everyone because it’s a disease! You people are crazy for not being nice to me!  Cry me a river of gravy, please, and pass the biscuits.

 whambulance

Yes, we know.  Let’s moooove on, please.

The best Red Pill philosophy is respect with a heaping helping of courtesy.  Yes. I do think that fat is a Big  indicator of a lack of self-control self-respect, but certainly not the only one. Much like making a choice to be a victim, lacking self-respect is critically harmful and I don’t think that those things are unrelated. Stop putting yourself in some little box or cage or category that you use as an excuse to be an angry, sad or confused person, and I am not just talking about overweight people anymore, this applies to everyone, across the board.

I first mentioned cages here.  It’s not really long, please check it out for the backstory, as I will get into it more today…

When the hordes of Victims’ Assistance volunteers were swarming me with dang good reasons why I was justified and entitled to become a thumb-sucking pill popping mess, I was in shock and denial.  I was immediately paralyzed with fear.  The “experts” have a couple handy little charts they use to follow trauma victims through their recovery process.

 grief-model 7

Common description of the grieving process

I have to agree that the stages are accurate, but much like the next chart, what no one bothers to tell you is that the process isn’t linear.

grief-model para

Yeah, some days will suck.

If you look at the line on the chart that represents time like it is neutral, or the dividing line between really crappy days and really good days. Maybe you can have some idea of why I like this chart a little better. Having some sort of idea where you are in the grieving recovery process, at least which stages will feel like good days and which will feel really, really bad, you can get a better grasp on your emotions.

grief-model real

Maybe someone should have mentioned this…

While pretty charts and models may be useful as broad generalizations, the truth is that the process is just not linear, but there are setbacks, and you may revisit some stages in the process several times.  Hell, you might experience several of the stages at once. While it is important to know that there are indeed stages and a range of emotion, if you don’t put in the work, you won’t get through them all. Yeah, you can get stuck and stay there, For. Freaking. Ever.

These charts are tools used to illustrate the process of grieving and loss. So, yes, duh, it applies to trauma, death, and divorce.  What if, for just a few minutes, you consider that it also applies to your personal belief system, including the little lies that we tell ourselves and others.  If you have chosen to be a victim of X, Y, or Z circumstance, you have to grieve the loss of whatever rationalization led you to embrace your victim status. You are just like the person who has lost a loved one or been brutalized in a random (or not-so-random) act of violence. You have work to do.

 welcome to the club

 If you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see, for any reason, not just weight, you are going to have to get over whatever it is that led to your condition.  Whether you are giving up a lifetime of being told that “people should love you for who you are on the inside” or letting go a strongly held belief that “I am beautiful just as I am”, you will still experience a loss when you realize that you were wrong.

If you are married and you have realized that it’s not as simple and wonderful as you believed it would be, you are going to have to grieve the loss of the Disney-inspired fairytale bullshit bill-of-goods you were sold before you can get to the real work of saving your marriage.  I will go so far as to say that if you are married and you find that you are unhaaaaaapy, then you are already in the grieving process so you better wake up and recognize where your feelings are coming from and do something about that shit, and quickly, please!

If you think that men are misogynist piggies and the world isn’t faaaaaair, but you are starting to realize that you might be wrong.  You will experience the whole range of grief and loss stages and emotions that everyone else will.  If you have lived your whole life thinking that “Boys are Mean, throw rocks at them!” or any of that other Grrrl Power horseshit…Get to work, please.

Perhaps you are really sad to discover that you are not a special little snowflake for some other random reason.  Guess who’s going to have to get over the realization that they aren’t really that special after all and people are tired of your whiny, overly-dramatic, self-entitled bullshit?

special cupcake

Yup, you are, Cupcake!

Spoiler alert: Even after you reach the acceptance stage, you can get sucked back into wrong thinking patterns.  Apply liberal does of introspection and personal accountability as needed to maintain a healthy outlook, but please, Do The Work!   Just as I said in the beginning, we are all BatShitCrazy according to someone. We just have to choose to get over that on our own, because no matter what counseling you have, or what book you’ve read, or whose philosophy you choose to follow, the simple fact is that no one can fix you, but you!

More to come on this subject next week, stay tuned…

Meanwhile, Happy Mother’s Day to all the Mommies out there!

23 Comments
  1. I’m very glad I found your blog.

    I used to labor in the vinyards of public education, and, toward the end of my career, was constantly bombarded with rationalizations of why students couldn’t study for a test, or couldn’t do their homework. It all boiled down to their special status. They also couldn’t be bothered to make up those tests, and would then demand “extra credit” for work not done. Can there be any doubt in anyone’s mind that we are talking about the same people?

  2. THAT is exciting. I retired at the beginning of the computer revolution, and it was against the rules for anyone to bring a laptop to class. It seems weird to think about that now. If I had access to all the marvelous technology extant today, I think we could have mountains.

    • Yes, I am pretty excited that our school will be giving every student ipads next year. Pity that it won’t keep some of the students from entering the business of manufacturing excuses!

  3. A lot of these folks are trying to normalize fatness, appointing themselves the champions for fat people, but the reality is well-founded criticism is a greater act of love than fake praise.

  4. Don’t get me started on “Oppositional Defiant Disorder”… You don’t agree you’re crazy? OH… we have an extra “special” kind of crazy for you!! *head desk*

    And… the thing about orthorexia… you know, maybe it’s true to some degree, but we wouldn’t HAVE to be so psycho and obsessed about everything we eat and what’s in it if our food supply wasn’t poisoned with a bunch of chemicals and non-food and if our portions weren’t insane… and etc. I mean… this is a totally fake “mental illness” based upon a sick CULTURE. Not a sick person.

    How does someone eat 4 cheese pretzels in 3 hours? Damn. That’s hardcore. And LOL @ ghetto cheese.

    • Bravo on calling out the screwed up food! That is so key to the whole thing. Yeah, I read labels, and no, I do not like you calling me crazy for it… So… ok, now, I am two special kinds of crazy! One more disorder and I will have a hat trick.

      Seriously, you should have seen that woman… even worse than watching what she put into her mouth was hearing what came out of it. Her poor child… and her poor husband. I am just unable to reconcile that amount of anger with seeing how the woman was doted on by her family. Oh, well, I am sure that she is the victim of something… sigh

      • earl permalink

        Matthew 15:11

        If she ate her terrible food and shudddddddddd up…no one would have noticed her. Problem is the anger is causing her gluttony….because she doesn’t have a man who is setting boundaries.

        She’s crying out for help…and her husband is killing her instead.

        Women are pretty simple creatures. Compliment them and they become angry….make them angry and they start to compliment you.

        • I felt very sorry for the husband. I recognized his uniform, and he was just an average hardworking man who came straight from work to watch his kid. What was going through his mind? Poor man, and the daughter. It was horrible.

          I also get what you are saying about “Compliment them and they become angry…” I have many internal struggles in my life that I wouldn’t otherwise have if the man I have been seeing didn’t go straight to supplication at the slightest sign of my displeasure.

      • What I find boggling is why would you just put random things in your mouth? Only babies do that. Like literal… crawling on the floor… babies. Once you grow up you don’t just go: “Hmmm this bleach looks good” or “Yum, motor oil”. You know instinctively there are just some things you are not going to eat… so… when bad crap has been put in your food or there is a high chance it has been… um… don’t you want to check that out to make sure?

        By doting on her, they’re just reinforcing the behaviors I assume they wish would stop. Maybe what they are really doing is appeasing their captor.

        • Hmmm, “appeasing their captor”. Good call, wish I had thought of that. That brings to mind a whole other set of problems that need to be addressed. I only used that woman as a starting point for the rest of the post. (As you can see by the camera angle, I didn’t exactly have permission to take that photo.)

          School concession stands are notorious for having delicious food that is total crap, but come on, four pretzels that she couldn’t even retrieve under her own power. Ridiculous!

        • hehe… reason I went with appeasing their captor is… if the man isn’t a total idiot, he knows an angry shrew like that will take him to the cleaners if he divorces her AND take the kids so he will have no real influence in their life anymore. If he displeases/upsets her too much SHE may initiate the divorce and then all that happens. The kids are minors and so what can they do? This is the woman that guards all the resources. When an angry fat lady is in control of the food you don’t want to piss her off. Even if you don’t really think she’d do something heinous like that, it’s a basic survival instinct.

          re: only using that as a starting point… yeah… but you know I’m going to pick out like ONE line and go on about it LOL.

          HAHA @ “couldn’t even retrieve under her own power”. There should be a rule: “You can have as many cheese pretzels as you want, but you have to go up and get them yourself.”

        • earl permalink

          Appeasing the captor is better when the captor knows what to do with authority.

          Women have no knowledge of what authority is…much less what to do with it. All they know is what they feel when it is there.

  5. earl permalink

    “My question, is why was she so-fucking-angry?”

    The answer to 100 out of 100 disorders is this…sin.

    The biggest enemy on this planet is Satan. The father of all lies (blame) and the uncle of all tricks (rationalizations).

    Why is a man who is honest about himself attractive to women and respected by men…because he disregards what Satan has to offer.

    I think in Heaven you are going to meet a lot of people you never expected to see there…and you won’t see a lot of people who you thought would be there.

    • Sin may well be the answer, and the greatest sin and most common is fear. People become paralyzed when they are fearful. Whether or not a person identifies as Christian, fear is a powerful limitation. Get scared. Make excuse. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. No progress or growth as a person of any faith, or none at all. It just makes me sad.

      “a man who is honest about himself” Yes. Wonderful point, That man is also honest with himself when looking inside at his own motivations.

  6. “Miserable people are rarely pleasant to be around.”

    Misery love company 🙂

    Miserable people a lot of times will go out of their way to cause other people pain or grief, and I’m constantly having to remind myself that happy people do not mess with other people; they are too busy being happy & enjoying their lives. You don’t even have to wait for “karma” or whatever to pay them back because they are already living their own special hell. The only thing to do is stay as far away from miserable people as possible. Same with contrarians and people who always have to argue every point. Screw them. Life is way too short.

    • Quite true, Tcup. However, I hope to at least get someone, somewhere, to look inside themselves a little and find that thing that is holding them back and hopefully, break free from it. I have worked with some very hurt people in the past, and I am considering doing that again, so avoiding them isn’t always an option.

      PS. I think I am due for a trip to the Asian market 🙂 Nice post! I really like easy to do cool stuff like that!

    • earl permalink

      “I’m constantly having to remind myself that happy people do not mess with other people; they are too busy being happy & enjoying their lives.”

      Now you know why there are no happy feminists or emasculated men.

  7. Oh well if you are going to help, okay, lol. I just have to avoid because they generally don’t listen to me anyway.

    I love my Asian market – when I bought my yeast balls the ladies giggled when I said I was making rice beer. I also get chicken feet for broth & kimchi. Yum!

  8. Tim permalink

    That fat women had to stay miserable because it’s how she keeps her husband under control. He thinks his first duty as a good husband is to make his wife happy. If she constantly acts miserable he keeps having to do things to make her happy, like fetch her food. If he refuses, she gets absolutely furious, and he thinks he is violating the duty to make your wife happy, and so backs down.

    On an unrelated note, last night I watched the old movie “Wife vs. Secretary” with Clark Gable, Myrna Loy, and Jean Harlow. It isn’t a great movie but it gets by on the mountains of charisma of its stars. The lesson: when men and women make an effort to become what the opposite sex likes, you get Clark Gables and Myrna Loys; when you just try to make yourself happy, and never ever do anything to make your man (or woman) happy, as feminism advocates, you get fat miserable fuckers.

  9. She had a 55-gallon drum of soda or vodka or whatever and ate not one, not two, but FOUR cheese pretzels during the 3 hour meet. All dutifully fetched by her man. Why did he tolerate that behavior?

    Because she is his Sacred Cow.

    I’m not sure, but “ghetto cheddar” sounds like it might be a reference to welfare ca$h or food stamps. Whether it is or not, it would make a great name for a band with socially unacceptable lyrics.

  10. CarbSanity permalink

    What a nasty bitch you are. What happened to make you such a miserable person? (Need a few more carbs, maybe?) Not surprised you’re so into rage addict Nikoley.

    • Up until now, everyone has been super nice… True colors always show through… Please, troll on….. hahaha. Richard’s outrage is what is known as ‘righteous indignation” and if you were literate, you would know what personal circumstances color my personal world view. Jesus, Goddess, Whatever-You-Hold-Dear… Get a life!!

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