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No Victims Allowed

May 2, 2013

Victim culture.  Victims of misogyny, Victims of Crimes, Victims of Abuse, Victims of The System, Victims of The Obesity Epidemic, Victims of Cancer, put down your whine and Listen Up, because I have had it with your self-pity bullshit. No matter what has happened to you, if you are still alive and reading this, you are not a VictimTM. If someone, professional or otherwise, has brainwashed you into thinking that you are a Victim you need a serious dose of reality. Sure, the attention feels good.  The constant bathing in showers of pity and sympathy from friends, family and total strangers can be addictive, but you must let it go. The endless well-intentioned, hand-wringing and cheerleading masses will bombard you with “poor-baby, this isn’t your fault” for the rest of your life. If you foolishly accept that, you die.  You are actually killing yourself by drowning in your own personal sea of self-pity or, worse, anger towards your perceived offenders, and, trust me, you are strong enough to withstand being offended once in a while, and eventually, you won’t even bother being offended, you will just roll your eyes and walk away.

 pushing up daisies

Real VictimsTM are pushing up daisies. Being a survivor is a necessary choice.

You are only a victim of anything in this world if you really, really want to be a victim, no matter what anyone tells you to the contrary.  Things in this world change, you have to learn to roll with it, because that baggage eventually gets too heavy to carry and no one else can carry it for you.  Take every opportunity to make a fresh start and create your own happiness. Trust me, there are plenty of reasons to be offended, but none are worth the price of trading in the rest of your life to wallow in self-pity or anger.  You let them, whomever the supposed evil ones are, win when you give up and always need a shoulder to cry on.  Constantly blaming or relying on others is no way to live, it is only a way to die.  You have to focus on yourself by looking inside, not by wrapping yourself in a comfortable artificial label.

crying on the floor

Cue the waterworks and have “counselors” on standby…

Some of you may be angry by now.  That’s fine by me.  I get it, you are REAL Victims of your personal boogeyman (or woman), I must have no idea what the hell I am talking about, right? Awwww, snap! Um, yeah, I do have some idea what I am talking about.  This will be the third yeah that my daughters and I have written to or been interviewed by the Parole Board to keep this animal locked up:


Nice mugshot, eh?

It was real nice for my daughters to see their Daddy on the evening news like that while we were in seclusion waiting to be moved to a safe location.  Hell, we could have lived in some random relative’s basement somewhere for the rest of our lives and no one would have thought less of me for going that route. It is, afterall, rather frightening to go from your home, your friends and all that you know in 16 hours only to be told that you are only  allowed back under armed guard because the man who you are married to hired a hitman. The reporters calling relentlessly was a nice touch, too, so pardon me if I don’t think that men opening doors for you, or your spouse leaving you and taking the kids makes you a poor, helpless Victim.


Actual photo of the device built to blow us to kingdom-come.

No, no, poor outraged darlings.  What you went through must have been awful.  There, there.  Dry your eyes and eat another twinkie.  Feel free to hate the guts of everyone of the opposite sex.   This wasn’t your fault, of course.  Stay in mommy’s basement and take these happy pills… er, not my thing.  I set myself free, and it was HARD while I was focused on Being a Victim.  Practically everyone I talked to was quite intent on making sure that I knew damn-good-and-well that I Was The Victim.  They waived so many incentives to embrace my “status” that I could barely keep myself from giving in.

free cave

Being a Victim is being put in a cage, and I wanted to be Free.

So many people allow themselves to be put in a cage, convinced that they are oppressed, taken advantage of, abused, mistreated… Please, stop it.  Just be free.  Your ideology of Men (or women) as antagonists is Wrong.  The System isn’t out to get you.  Live your life, the cage has a door on it, and the door is wide open if you will only take advantage of it.  Whatever misery you have is temporary and you can learn from it and overcome it, and flourish and thrive.

  1. This was quite motivating. Good on you for creating your own narrative that is actually a helpful one. I’ve tried to break free from cutting victims/”wounded birds” so much slack. At first you feel like this generous, heroic white knight. But it becomes pretty clear that most problems that you’re trying to solve are of that person’s own making. A feminine, supportive women does not need to be a broke, helpless mess.

    Anyway, enjoy blogging. I personally have found it a great outlet and clarifier of my own thinking.

  2. darlingdoll permalink

    Reblogged this on D A R L I N G and commented:
    Being a victim is a choice. You may not have any control over being victimized, but you have a choice about whether you will allow yourself to become a victim.

    • Thanks for the reblog. I am glad that someone understands that being a perpetual victim truly is a choice. Surviving is *so* much better!

      • darlingdoll permalink

        It’s a great post! More people need to see what you’re writing about. I also added you to my blog roll 🙂

  3. BEST thing I’ve read thus far this Mother’s Day!

    If I had to say there was a tertiary epidemic in this country (behind the Princess Complex and Obesity), it would definitely be the culture of Victimhood.

    Congratulations on a well thought-out article!

    – Emperor Lu Bu
    (arrived via DD’s re-blog) 😉

  4. Mina permalink

    I am surprised though that none of you ladies write about guns, self-defense strategies and being armed …

    • Good observation. I can’t speak for the others, but I may or not be a Concealed Weapons Permit holder, and my daughters may or may not also be proficient with firearms… some things are best left to your imagination. 😉

  5. Mina permalink

    yah, I see … me too 😉 I’m new to the 2A “hobby”, too. my enthusiasm, in contrast to my level of knowledge, is boundless on this topic. but I am workingn on it!

  6. モンブラン 万年筆 インク

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